Worldwide Festival of Races

This is a hard one to describe without totally admitting what a dork I am.

When I first started running way back in 2006, there was this newfangled invention- an iPod. And on that shockingly little Walkman, you could put something called a podcast. I don't know how it happened, but at some point I started listening to this guy, Steve Runner, who does a show called Phedippidations. Half the time I didn't understand what he was talking about, but I liked listening to him telling running stories and sharing information. And, let's face it, it was free and you can only take so much of the Black Eyed Peas on the treadmill.

One day, my new running friend, Steve, announced he was going to start a virtual race called the Worldwide Festival of Races. The timing of the race fell into my Goofy training. All I had to do was sign up online and print out a bib they generated, run a half marathon over a certain weekend, and post my results. I signed up and that Saturday, I went outside and I ran and ran and ran... and walked some... and ran some... it was my longest run ever. When I finished, I hopped in the bathtub fully dressed like the other hard core runners and took an ice bath. Alright, I'm not that hardcore- I took a luke cold bath, but still. I remember calling my mom and saying "I just ran a half-marathon!" So there it was- my first half marathon finish. I was very pleased with myself, but officially terrified of the Goofy.

Fast forward: I ran the Goofy, and had a baby, and signed up for the 10k the next year. I vaguely remember finishing that one. I think I might have done one other, but it really is a blur.

Fast forward again: When Steve started talking about the Worldwide Festival of Races this year, I was a little perturbed because it fell the weekend AFTER my half-marathon in Jacksonville. Technically I could have counted the Jax half as my virtual half, since I'm the one who reports my results, but it didn't feel authentic. And then I realized Ted was going out of town the weekend of the virtual half- ah, not meant to be.

But wait! Friday night was Parents' Night Out! And now Ted would be out of town and the kids had somewhere to be for a three hour block of time- and the Worldwide Festival was back on! I signed up again...

I scrambled around Friday getting the kids ready for Parents' Night Out (crazy hair night requires significant prep time). After dropping them off, I headed to the Y for a treadmill because I didn't want to run in the dark.

I hopped on the treadmill. Before pushing the start button, I stood there a minute and debated whether or not to pull my scrunched down compression socks up to my knees. Finally I decided that it wouldn't really add that much to the weird runner vibe I was already giving off- bright pink shoes, two water bottles, gels, visor, iPhone... so I yanked the compression socks up and pushed start.

Mile 1: yeah, not feeling it. Surely it will get better.
Mile 2: hey, this still sucks.
Mile 3: I'm cool with the old guy changing the channel, but seriously, the Weather Channel??
Mile 4: oh crap. I forgot to eat dinner.
Mile 5: oh look, I can have a gel for dinner. Yum.
Mile 6: shouldn't this be sucking less by now?
Mile 7: I'm all alone in the gym... kind of creepy.
Mile 8: I am so getting a biscuit at KFC when this is over!
Mile 9: stupid virtual race! have to start the treadmill over cause I'm almost out of time...
Mile 10: soul crushing to see the miles start over.
Mile 11: maybe I should slow down?? (but then this horror will never end!)
Mile 12: I'm so hungry...
Mile 13: that's it! I am NOT doing the last .1 miles!
0.1 mile: oh fine!!- I'll finish this stinking race!

And that's it. 13.1 miles at 9:50/mile. I took a quick shower, changed, and headed straight to KFC for my biscuit (or two). For once the kids were all organized and by the door so picking them up wasn't the usual challenge.

And that's my virtual race report on my virtual race!